I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize