yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
