Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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