Just cropdusted the office
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Randomize
