i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
