and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
