Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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