I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
