...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
