look no pants
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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