Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
