I wish life had little blips of pornography
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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