im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
