I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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