What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
