now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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