Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
It's just like the Real World with babies
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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