you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
