I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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