I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Randomize
