Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I looked at my own cervix.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
