I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
We just shotgunned beers for America
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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