This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Randomize
