ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
