Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
