I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
