Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
