I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
