Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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