I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
