I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
