Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
