You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
