Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
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i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
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Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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