Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
