Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
