i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
