I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Randomize
