Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
