You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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