I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
