I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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