Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
