I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
vagina is talking i cant
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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