I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
