I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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