One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
soo... how was my night?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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