Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
