Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
