All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
We had sex on a dog bed..
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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