I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize