You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize