Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
