i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
