There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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