sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
