im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
