She said her name was "party"
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
