is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
