As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He's a Shit stain on my heart
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
