The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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