Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
