Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I look better un-naked...
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
